move into my pants please

Because I just got the awesome-most, fabulus La Senza panties and I want u in there! Come into mah pants!

Let's cut the crap. This post is going to be an emo one even though it started out somewhat wrongly. I am weird, yes. Get over it.

How many of you think that moving in with your bf/gf is such a big deal, that the earth will tremble the moment he/she asks you to stay with them? Tremble in a good way cos you've been waiting to hear the words "Lets move in together, baby. I want to fuck you every night for the rest of your life" or tremble in a bad way because you're thinking "Shit! Now I need to run to the toilet everytime I need fart and that's every 5 minutes..."

But for some, moving in is no big deal. Its merely another step in the relationship.

But I believe, no one can deny that moving in with your partner changes your relationship. Hopefully in a good way by bringing the two of you closer to each other, but sadly I know, that's not always the case.

Let me ask you this; what if your bf/gf asks you to move in with them and then changes his/her mind about it? How would you feel? Disbelief. Pained. Confused. Indifference. Relieved. Happy.

Everyone reacts differently. If you've reacted in a good way, ie. happy and relieved, then maybe (1) you are not ready for moving in yet, or (2) you know what, ur relationship is crumbling and there's no point moving in together.

But if you've felt bad, I'm sure plenty of you would be thinking so much at night, that sleep escapes you. You smile, but that's just another lie. You love, but you begin to question love itself. You see the colors of the flowers, but somehow, they don't seem bright like its supposed to. Worst of all, you blame yourself and it makes you crazy.

Let me ask you then, who are they to tell you that you are not ready to move in with him/her? No one is ready for it until they move in together and work hand in hand to keep the relationship going. Everyone will make mistakes, which is exaclty why need to live and learn from each other. And maybe, you will discover that he/she is not the one, and you can move on with your own lives and not drag time.

That said, you can't simply move in with your partner when he/she specifically said to wait. That's stupid, disrespectful and plain shameless. But of cos, it does make you think - what's wrong? Isn't it natural that you want to be with the person you love the whole time? Does it mean that he/she deosn't want to be with me as much as they can, even though he/she tells me that they love me? What does this mean?

Complicated, isn't it? And the only thing left to do is plan for your life. Think about what you need to do next, cos you cannot keep putting yourself on hold for that in case moment when he/she will confirm that they want to live with you; for in case, the end would be "Sorry baby, but its not going to work out". Then, at least, your life won't be in pieces although your heart is.

But to plan for yourself, you fear losing that special someone as well. Cos although you try to keep him/her in the picture of your future plans, can you be totally sure that he/she won't slowly disappear from the picture? Just like faded paint on a painting.

To be indifferent would be to not care. But that's not possible isn't it, cos the reason why you two were in a relationship in the first place was cos you cared.

In the end, the only thing to do would be to plan for your future and pray that you won't grow cold and be frostbit.

i am

Sometimes I wonder, what does it feel like to go crazy?

When u you sit on the cold hard floor thinking for long, and couldn't come up with an answer to a non-existent question?

When from feeling lost at first, it gradually became one big black hole?

When despite knowing that there are people out there that love and care for you, but it feels as if the walls are speaking a language which you are unable to fathom?

When you see yourself curled up in a dark cave, watching blindly as the storm pours outside and it doesn't to make sense whatsoever?

And then you rush to the mirror; you see a stranger staring back at you, asking you, "Who are you?" to which you answer "I don't know".

You inflict pain on yourself just to feel alive; wake yourself from this heavy curtain - you see the blood drip, drip, drip to the ground... you feel nothing at all. Nothing.

Then you look back up at the mirror; and what greets you is an empty shell.

Is this what it feels like to go crazy?

what's this? an update?!

0_0"

Omigosh! Its an update! Yeshhhhh, it ishhhhh! Proof that I am still alive and didn't drown somewhere. Choi! But yea, you get my point.

I feel this sudden urge to type and post something. My fingers were just itching to type. I don't even know why. Must be my body's way of protesting for abandoning my blog for so f*ing long.

Uh-huh. I just cursed politely (if there's even such a thing). Noticed I put an asterisk (*) in the middle of the word f-u-c-k-i-n-g? Oh no, I typed the whole thing out. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF! I'm trying to be a more polite person here, so please gimme some time and bear with me. You know u love me.

Ok, enough bullshit (I was merely putting in a mention of the shit of a bull - don't think wrongly, u dirty, dirty minded peeps). I know its kinda waaaaaaayyyy belated but I'm gonna blog a bit about my birthday!

It was awesomeness! My boyfriend took a week off from work and stayed with me in Reading the entire time! Wheee! And this year, for some reason, I didn't really feel like going all out and getting myself pissed crazy like normal. And no, its not cos I'm getting older. I simply felt so happy and contented to be spending time with my close ones. Yea, simple me.

:)

Pressies time!

My lovely boyfriend got me Dior J'adore!!!!!! *screams!* I love that scent and I was saving up for it but he sneakily bought it right under my nose (I feel so stupid) and gave it to me once the clock struck midnight. Awwwwwww~~~~

J'adore, yo! J'ADORE! J'ADOOOORRREEEE!!!!!

I smell like a million bucks now. I absolutely love and adore him so, so much! *shy* And when I first got it, I was so tempted to spray half the bottle on my bed so I can sleep in sweet-smelling goodness but my boyfriend and Moeko went "Nooooooo!!!"

LOL.

Dear Moeko gave me the Body Shop Vitamin E skin care and a bar of nice smelling Body Shop soap as well... wait a minute. Do I smell? 0_0"

:D

And she made me Japanese curry for dinner, and organised a drinking session in the house for me. She invited some of her close friends and we had such a wacky time and ahem, things went well for her too. Ahem, ahem.

...

Ahem.

Ok, ok. Enough coughing for no reason. Now, on to Warina, Miriam and Master's gifts for me. You won't ever believe that they actually got those for me. I couldn't believe my eyes either! Woah, Kinkina... I'm impressed! Heheheheh!

Its actually much more sexier than it looks... Trust me, you haven't seen the sides yet ;)

Chocolate and Strawberry Body Pen

Woah, woah, woah!!!!! Ahem, ahem, ahem, ahem, ahem! Let me assure you, these gifts were put to good use. No questions allowed. Miaowr~

I had a really great birthday and I feel sooo loved! *tears* But of cos, I do miss all my bitches and 38-pohs. It would be FABULOUS to have everyone with me, but well, that's wishful thinking.

I LOVE YOU ALL!!! THANK YOUUUUUUU!!!


Appetizer?
Unfortunately, I left my camera charger back home in Malaysia; and now that my battery is dead and my charger is halfway around the world on its way back to me, I couldn't take and upload pics. This explains the internet searched pics you see on this post.

Even more unfortunately, I had a night out with Moeko with the Japanese, Kazakh and Polish societies where I couldn't take pics! So, we had to use one of her fren's cam to camwhore for like, 10 pics (*tulan face*). It was quite unfortunate cos we got VIP tix! Free champagne, strawberries and a waiter to boot. But I'm waiting for the pics to go up on fb, and then, y'all will know the drama of the night. I was seriously so mad, I literally screamed in the club. Sigh. There goes my image.