heads up

Guess what I had for dessert last night?
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A naked chocolate man. Literally.

What were u thinking?

He was yummy. :)

why do men cheat?

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for the ladies

Ok, ladies. Take a good look at this:

What do u see wrong with this picture?
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That's right. Nothing. Nothing is wrong with the picture. I'm sure every single girl in this planet called Earth dreams of this. At least, even if not now, there must be some moments in your life where you wanted this.

Here comes the mother of all questions. Ding Dong! Either ur single and fabulously available or ur in a long distance relationship and ur bf is probably not with you at this very moment or ur on the verge of breaking up or bla bla bla... and you feel lonely. What's a girl to do?

And here is where Wildberry comes in. I've made a list of what-to-do to help ease that lonely feeling, so read on! (I seem to be having some 'Guide To Life' streak lately... =.=)

Tips for the Lonely Girl to Ease Loneliness :D
1) Pig out. I know it doesn't sound good, but trust me, it feels guuuuuuuuddddd. Just go to the kitchen and tuck into that bucket of chocolate ice cream! None? Then order a pizza! Whatever! Stop worrying about the calories, girl! You can always work it off... hopefully.

2) If ur a smoker, then smoke the shit outta urself until u pass out. Ran out of fags? Crash ur frens'! Hey, its just once in a while. And u'll let them crash urs when the need arises, of cos. Make sure u do that. No joke. Don't want ur frens to hate u, u know.

3) If ur an alcoholic, or even if ur not, grab urself a bottle of wine. Or beer. Or vodka. Or whiskey. Well, anything that contains alcohol except nail varnish. Get drunk. Ur throbbing headache will be one heck of a distraction and being drunk enough to simply collapse on ur bed brings the snooze in almost immediately. No sleepless night!

4) Talk to ur girlfriends! They are the ones whom u can trust to be vulnerable once in a while. And they will be bound to try and cheer u up. Most importantly, they know how to listen. U'll feel much better even if they can't offer any advice, plus, it comes with free hugs! How good is that?

5) Catch up with old friends. U'll realise that what the heck, I've missed so much! U'll be so busy catching up with one another, u'll forget why u were lonely in the first place.

6) Go out! Get those sexy things on you, Miss Thing! There's nothing like feeling sexy to pick ur mood up again. Gather some girlfriends and hit the night scene. Just be careful though, cos ur most likely to get urself into some unecessary shit when feeling down. So make sure ur out with a couple of ur trusted frens who know how to take care of u.

7) Get horny! This may be contradictory cos u may be thinking; won't it make me feel lonelier if I were to get horny without my boyfriend around me? Wrong! Watch porn and get kinky with yourself! If u haven't tried masturbating, now is the time to start! Just play with urself until ur exhausted and fall into a satisfied sleep!

8) Hug ur pillow and cry urself to sleep. Not emotionally helpful, but at least u'll be sleeping at the end. Not recommended for suicidals.

Well, ladies... Hope this Guide To Life session has been helpful. Of cos, there are so many more things which u can do to induce a good night's sleep, but these are just some suggestions from my side when u simply can't think of anything to curb that lonely feeling.

I've personally tried some of what I shared with u ladies out there. It doesn't make u feel any less lonely or make that pesky feeling go away, but I can guarantee, at least, u'll get some sleep.

And for now, my best friend tonight is a bottle of Smirnoff. Ciaozzz, darlings!


:)

are u bitchy?

bitch·y
adj. bitch·i·er, bitch·i·est Slang
1. Malicious, spiteful, or overbearing.
2. In a bad mood; irritable or cranky.

I believe there's a bitch in every single girl in the world. Even the nicest, kindest, gentlest laydee in the whole wide world can be the biggest bitch if you push the right buttons. If ur the crazy type, try annoying her when she's pms-ing. A power bitch will be born.

Being bitchy is good sometimes; I believe its a form of self protection and if used wisely, a very effective weapon. That's cos we all know that when it comes to catfights, we girls use our brains instead of bronze. That said, a lady shouldn't be bitchy at all times. You'll just make enemies wherever you go. You may be the Queen Bitch but with hundreds of bitches against you, girl, you won't stand a chance. I'm not referring to myself in any way, in case you were wondering.

Despite that, here a basic lesson in becoming a bitch:

How To Be A Bitch 101
1) Someone you hate/envy asks you for a question - does that bastard make a good shag, is her bf a cheating fuckhead, what to wear, does her bum look fat in those jeans etc. What do u do?
You LIE. (Bitches are one of the best liars in the world so if you're on the receiving end of the bitchiness, tough luck honey)

2) Your bitchy friend shows off her Gucci bag and thinks that your Prada is sooo last season. What do you do?
Secretly make a discreet scratch on her bag and spread the word that her Gucci is fake (*gasp!*) and then point out the scratch to people. "See, told you that its a fake! Omigawd... such a crime to Gucci!"

3) Your boyfriend's mother hates you cos she thinks that ur a slut and a bad influence to her supposedly angelic son. You would really, really like to go to that party his family is throwing cos its a posh event and you can meet many famous people there, but his mom forbade you to go and now your bf is stuck in between. What do you do?

Its time to be a sneaky bitch. In front of your boyfriend, pretend to be as sweet and innocent as possible; act all hurt and teary-eyed because his mom is being a bitch but its alright, you don't want him to get stuck in between and you'd stay out of that event to make his life easier (this will get him mad at his mother). And then, the best bit - secretly dig out the dirt on that woman! Either do it yourself, recruit the help of some friends or hire some private investigator... she's bound to have some skeletons in her closet. Everyone does and since she's been alive for thaaaat long, her skeletons stash must be pretty impressive. Once you have all the goss, arrange a private and confidential meeting with the mother and blackmail. And do remember to give her your signature bitch smile. She earned it.

4) When your friend introduces you to her separate circle of friends (why are they all hot chicks?) and they give you a sympathetic look, you should know that she's been bitching about you; labeling you as her ugly friend who is useful only for homework, u have the ugliest bf ever and he can't even afford a Chanel bag for you etc. What do you do?
Lose weight and go for a makeover. If they're hot and getting all the boys, its for a good reason - they're hot and ur not. Face it, girl. Its time to vamp up! Make yourself hot (take note from fashion mags and all), play the sweet and innocent victim of the bitch's bitchiness, turn her friends against her and steal her bf as well. Then, dump the boy so she can't get back with him again. And finally, laugh as the bitch spirals downwards.


By points 3 and 4, if u've executed it, oh my gawd... u are the ultimate bitch. But be warned, what goes round comes round.

:)

kanasai la!

I realised that all my recent posts have been quite emo; and seeing that I haven't been updating regularly like I used to, it means that I've been emo for quite some time. Damn kanasai lorh!

Cannot, cannot. Let me put funny picture up first.

"Yesh, I would like to make an appointment for a full body wax pleashhhh"

Ok, peeps. Today, lets talk about the sun.

*chirp chirp chirp*

Yesh. I'm dead serious. Lets talk about the sun. Because its finally shining!!! The sun has arrived in UK! Yay! No more feeling cold, bundling up and wearing boots! Wheee! Its a sunny and warm 15 degrees, I literally walked out in a tank top, flats and a light cardi.

Ok, that's it. End of post. I malas.

:)

move into my pants please

Because I just got the awesome-most, fabulus La Senza panties and I want u in there! Come into mah pants!

Let's cut the crap. This post is going to be an emo one even though it started out somewhat wrongly. I am weird, yes. Get over it.

How many of you think that moving in with your bf/gf is such a big deal, that the earth will tremble the moment he/she asks you to stay with them? Tremble in a good way cos you've been waiting to hear the words "Lets move in together, baby. I want to fuck you every night for the rest of your life" or tremble in a bad way because you're thinking "Shit! Now I need to run to the toilet everytime I need fart and that's every 5 minutes..."

But for some, moving in is no big deal. Its merely another step in the relationship.

But I believe, no one can deny that moving in with your partner changes your relationship. Hopefully in a good way by bringing the two of you closer to each other, but sadly I know, that's not always the case.

Let me ask you this; what if your bf/gf asks you to move in with them and then changes his/her mind about it? How would you feel? Disbelief. Pained. Confused. Indifference. Relieved. Happy.

Everyone reacts differently. If you've reacted in a good way, ie. happy and relieved, then maybe (1) you are not ready for moving in yet, or (2) you know what, ur relationship is crumbling and there's no point moving in together.

But if you've felt bad, I'm sure plenty of you would be thinking so much at night, that sleep escapes you. You smile, but that's just another lie. You love, but you begin to question love itself. You see the colors of the flowers, but somehow, they don't seem bright like its supposed to. Worst of all, you blame yourself and it makes you crazy.

Let me ask you then, who are they to tell you that you are not ready to move in with him/her? No one is ready for it until they move in together and work hand in hand to keep the relationship going. Everyone will make mistakes, which is exaclty why need to live and learn from each other. And maybe, you will discover that he/she is not the one, and you can move on with your own lives and not drag time.

That said, you can't simply move in with your partner when he/she specifically said to wait. That's stupid, disrespectful and plain shameless. But of cos, it does make you think - what's wrong? Isn't it natural that you want to be with the person you love the whole time? Does it mean that he/she deosn't want to be with me as much as they can, even though he/she tells me that they love me? What does this mean?

Complicated, isn't it? And the only thing left to do is plan for your life. Think about what you need to do next, cos you cannot keep putting yourself on hold for that in case moment when he/she will confirm that they want to live with you; for in case, the end would be "Sorry baby, but its not going to work out". Then, at least, your life won't be in pieces although your heart is.

But to plan for yourself, you fear losing that special someone as well. Cos although you try to keep him/her in the picture of your future plans, can you be totally sure that he/she won't slowly disappear from the picture? Just like faded paint on a painting.

To be indifferent would be to not care. But that's not possible isn't it, cos the reason why you two were in a relationship in the first place was cos you cared.

In the end, the only thing to do would be to plan for your future and pray that you won't grow cold and be frostbit.