Hopefully. There aren't any guarantees in the world, is there?
Looking at my past posts, I've gotten so emo! I resolved to be more cheerful but somehow, tonight, I find it hard. I don't expect anyone to understand. So long I know what I'm feeling, that's all that matters to me.
Today is Valentine's Day. Last year, I couldn't spend it with my beloved because I was home in Msia and he was here in UK. This year, I didn't go home. Made sure to stay back, to celebrate days with him. But we had to have a major misunderstanding at the worst times.
Now, on Valentine's Day, I had dinner with some friends. The air is thick with love, of couples being affectionate with each other. I tried my best not to look. I tell everyone that I've accepted this curse, that I can never be with my beloved on Valentine's. Yea, laugh. "Awww, you poor thing!" But you don't know how it hurts inside. How lonely it feels to have a beloved, but at the same time, not to have one.
I am ok. Just a little sad. Why are we wasting precious time still holding on to this 'break' when time is trickling away swiftly? I am not sure that I am even able to extend my visa and have only a few months left Why must there be a Valentine's Day? It is so cruel to those single people, wishing for a partner; cruel to those who have just lost a loved one, cruel to those who had freshly broken up, cruel to those in long distance. Love should be a daily celebration. Why have this day to rub salt into injury?
I can't stand the smug look of those in a relationship and owning the day. Perhaps I am a little bitter and a little sad. Because, I am still waiting for a dream to come true, while others are celebrating theirs.
