i got called a cheeky bitch at work

...by my manager. Because I called him fat.

Why? Well, he isn't fat but put it this way, he is chubby. And probably the worst manager I have ever encountered yet in my working life.

If you think this post is dedicated to my manager, think again. I'm off work and I don't want to write anymore bullshit. That's right, I get paid to write bullshit for a global media company. In other words, I am a professional bullshitter.

You know what, I need me more inspiration to continue with my blog. Ever since I've started working, its as if Life had flushed itself down the toilet. Yes, dear readers, I have no life.

FML!

And since I am currently using a dongle until my housemate gets an internet account set up, I have to be very careful when using my internet. It can actually make you sleep on the streets - it eats up money faster than you can say "I have a lingerie addiction and buy La Senza all the time, but at the moment, I am obsessed about Intimissimi".

So... for all of you out there who do not know what a dongle is, unfortunately, I can't show you any images. Because to look it up, save it and then upload it here would take up more megabytes than I am willing to let go off. Yes, I am desperately clinging to it for dear smooth-bowel-movement life with this mansion of an internet I have.

A dongle is not what you think it is... it is not exactly a dongle. Now, don't pretend you don't imagine a big fat dick in your head.

It is mobile broadband in the form of a USB stick. It provides me with internet, an extremely satisfying experience everytime I use it (and I do use it every night at least once, for fuck's sake). And I have been without this necessacity for 12 million light years. Gawd, how am I still alive?

Guess what, if you have read what I've typed up to this point - congratulations. You've just saturated your brain with utter bullshit of my lifeless life.

Awesome. Now run off and get me some nasi lemak.

this will be the last emo post, i promise

Hopefully. There aren't any guarantees in the world, is there?

Looking at my past posts, I've gotten so emo! I resolved to be more cheerful but somehow, tonight, I find it hard. I don't expect anyone to understand. So long I know what I'm feeling, that's all that matters to me.

Today is Valentine's Day. Last year, I couldn't spend it with my beloved because I was home in Msia and he was here in UK. This year, I didn't go home. Made sure to stay back, to celebrate days with him. But we had to have a major misunderstanding at the worst times.

Now, on Valentine's Day, I had dinner with some friends. The air is thick with love, of couples being affectionate with each other. I tried my best not to look. I tell everyone that I've accepted this curse, that I can never be with my beloved on Valentine's. Yea, laugh. "Awww, you poor thing!" But you don't know how it hurts inside. How lonely it feels to have a beloved, but at the same time, not to have one.

I am ok. Just a little sad. Why are we wasting precious time still holding on to this 'break' when time is trickling away swiftly? I am not sure that I am even able to extend my visa and have only a few months left Why must there be a Valentine's Day? It is so cruel to those single people, wishing for a partner; cruel to those who have just lost a loved one, cruel to those who had freshly broken up, cruel to those in long distance. Love should be a daily celebration. Why have this day to rub salt into injury?

I can't stand the smug look of those in a relationship and owning the day. Perhaps I am a little bitter and a little sad. Because, I am still waiting for a dream to come true, while others are celebrating theirs.

Dear God, why?

4th January 2011. Just received news that my dog is dying, suffering badly from cancer, blood all over, rotten flesh, barely able to move and eat, and she will be put to sleep to end her misery.

Dear God, WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY??????????!!!!!!!!!


I don't know how much longer I can take this shit.