its storytelling time

I bet the whole world is dying to know about my surgery.

To begin, it was hellish. Its as dramatic as it can get. I was put to sleep and this bloody nurse nearly killed me. She was careless and gave me an overdose of anesthesia and thank goodness another nurse noticed that something was wrong, cos the machine which records my heartbeats showed that they were getting dangerously low.

Beep...beep......beep............beep......................beep..............................

I dunno what did they do to revive me but thank goodness I'm alive now, else I'll be blogging about this in heaven and thus, cannot use vulgarities, which I know u all love.
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Yeah, right.

Those stuff are for dramas, stupidos. If you believed it, better not let me know if you don't want your name mentioned (and dissed) here. Ahem. My surgery was just a minor one which did not require general anesthesia. ^_^

Anyway, this is one long story and read on if you have no life! What really happened was, the surgeon admitted me to the day-care ward, where I had to change into a fashionless and ugly, ugly hospital gown. Oh gooooosssshhhhh!

Fashion statement of the year

Even visitors had to follow the trend!

And the worst was, I had to be totally naked underneath. Damn, I've never felt more exposed in my entire life. From that day onwards, I shall give panties its due recognition for giving me comfort and a sense of security. Oh, I also had to take off all my ear-rings and contact lenses before the surgery.

*sweats*

Moving on, when the nurses wheeled me into the operating theatre, the people in the ward were staring so hard, their eyes could've popped out any second. Eww~ I really hate it when people stare at me with bulging eyes.

(Pls read this part like a bimbo) Like, hello~ u will be next after me, so stop staring...

Well, the operating theatre was exceptionally cold and I wondered whether it was my nerves or was it really that cold. Whilst I lay on the operating table, the nurse untied the only 2 strings at the back of my gown which prevented me from publicly mooning at strangers; but apparently, it was time for a mooncake festival. Sheesh!

Waiting for the surgeon to arrive was sooo agonizing! He was late and I felt like a piece of meat freezing away on a table made of ice. When Mr Late Surgeon finally arrived, everyone got into position and oh boy, now I know what it feels like to be a rat waiting to be dissected.

When everything was ready, I got my first jab of anesthesia. It was pain like I have never experienced before; and a few more jabs followed almost immediately. I actually bit into the pillow to stifle my scream but there was this one particular jab which was so horrendously painful that I actually screamed out loud and my body jerked as a reflective response. The nurse had to hold me down. It was kinda embarassing, yeah.

Then, surgeon told me to think happy thoughts.

WTF! Think happy thoughts?! How was I supposed to think of happy thoughts when I could feel every single jab onto my right thigh?! But the first thing that came to my mind was Bangkok and it was all I could do to not scream "Bangkooooooookkk!!!". That would've been pretty weird.

But after the shit-ass pain, thankfully, my right thigh was numb and it was a pretty smooth surgery. Although I no longer felt any pain, I could feel the surgeon snipping away at my skin and digging my flesh out and all. That was one of the strangest sensations ever. It was pretty interesting, really. But hey, I don't ever want to repeat such an experience.

Well, now that the surgery is over and done with, oooh - the relief. No more pain, no more carrying around an infected bitch on my leg. I just need to wait for it to heal completely, which would take about 3 week, maybe? Not too sure, cos its an open wound and I cannot have stitches; its to prevent recurrence.

For now, I would only feel pain after doing my dressing and if I stressed my leg, ie. walking for too long or too fast. Speaking of dressings, its another story. For the first 3 days after my surgery, I had to change my dressing everyday. Only after that can I change my dressing every alternate days.

So, the day after the surgery, I went to Klinik Bandaran to have my dressing done. I couldn't do the dressing on my own cos it involved removing and stuffing in this piece of fibre into the wound, plus the cleaning and all. Sounds painful? You betcha. Continuing the story, I don't think the doctor really knew how to do my dressing. When he removed the fibre from my wound, its as if someone was stabbing my leg with a knife and oh, such pain! I screamed and literally teared up. I could even feel the blood gushing down my thigh and erm, I stained my skirt. Both Pinky and my mom had this look on their faces. If they had weaker stomachs, they would have fainted there and then. I'm not kidding. I actually broke into cold sweat and I was told that I looked so pale that it was shocking.

O.o

Then, the stuffing of the fibre into my wound was much worse. The pain was indescribable. I couldn't really walk after that and needed my mom and my friend to support me. Fuiyoh, and people say that childbirth is one of the greatest pains. If that is true, I am sooo not giving birth! I couldn't even stand this one!

To end this storytelling session, I would say that this has been quite an interesting experience for me. Not that I want it but, hmmm~ It was pretty interesting. The downside of this is that I can't walk normally yet, no mini-skirts for the time-being, and there's a lot of food which I cannot take. But on the upside, I get to diet!

Woohoo! Its about time I lost weight! Let the diet begin!